We Do Not Have To Live In Shame

We Do Not Have To Live In Shame 

The other day while I was spring cleaning after my shower I decided to take down the shower curtain and when I did I felt exposed of not just my nakedness, but all of me. And I was the only one in the house. No reason for feeling vulnerable or ashamed. Also when the shower curtain came down more light came into the shower and the light revealed more areas that still needed to be cleaned.

Just like with Christ when He shines His light into our hearts and reveals a part of us that needs to be healed. This reminded me of the veil that Jesus tore down to free us. But then I was also reminded of Adam and Eve.

When Adam and Eve sinned they covered themselves up realizing their all was fully bared to God and the world. Not just their naked body but their all, their new emotions that they were now experiencing, they were ashamed of who they had become because of what they had done.

The Serpent/the devil was lying to them, deceiving them of which he is well renowned for. But all God wanted was a personal relationship with them and us.

Because of their disobedience God gave them all that they had chosen. By choosing the forbidden tree of knowledge of good and evil they chose for us all.

But Christ came to free us all from all of this and gave us a choice to still live with the choices of following our own hearts and the choices of good and evil. When Jesus tore down the veil between us and God there was no longer this banishment between us and Abba Father. Abba Father was once again free to enjoy a personal relationship with us again, we just have to choose.

Adam and Eve veiled up in Gods sanctuary and Jesus Christ tore down that veil that we all live behind. I speak from personal experience.

He also provided forgiveness, love, grace, healing, life, Shalom peace, freedom, and so much more, more than we could ever imagine. 

And don’t forget that to take this shame from us Jesus hung on that cross fully naked and put to shame because of His nakedness. He did this to free us from all our shame.

Through the finished works of Jesus Christ we don’t have to hide in shame but we now are free to live in the Fathers love again and no judgment and condemnation, completely free. Hallelujah and Amen.

Like I said I speak from personal experience of holding my head in shame for many years. I was raped when I was a teenager. I was tempted to wag school and go with some male friends, one of which was my boyfriend at the time; well I thought he was my boyfriend. He was the tallest boy in our school around 6 foot 8inches, I came up to the bottom of his ribs.

While we were heading to their place, where they said they were holding a party for the end of term break. We stopped at the bottle shop and they asked me what I would like to drink. I hadn’t really drunk before and so I said “I just drink coke please.”

When we got to their place the party was in their parent’s garage which had been decked out as a party room but there was no one else there and when I enquired where the other people were they told me they would be coming soon.

They turned on the music and we starting dancing around. They started drinking their alcohol and gave me my coke. They kept up the coke to me. I didn’t realize the coke was tasting any differently and that how free I was feeling was because they were lacing my coke with some type of alcohol.

 Before long I must have passed out. I woke up in this little room with a bed and it was like a changing room with my boyfriend on top of me raping me and then one of the other boy was taking photos of us. I screamed out very slurred though “get out.” I was in shock and couldn’t figure out what was going on.

I must have passed out again because I woke up and found myself slumped over in the bottom of a cold shower naked. And then the next thing I remember we were in their lounge room. They were all playing around.

When I started to come to my senses I asked what the time was because I was looking for a reason to get out of there. I got even more frightened as I had wagged school and if I didn’t get on the bus before 4 my Mum would find out, that I wasn’t at school. I told them I had to leave to go catch my bus. When I was heading out the door they told me that “if I told anyone they would show everyone at school the photos and also send them to my parents. I was frightened.

When I was walking to catch my bus I remember thinking about what had happened and how dirty and ashamed I was. I was a virgin up until that point. Even through some of the boyfriends I had at school had lied that they had had sex with me and no matter how much I said, “no you didn’t” no one would believe me.

I was more concerned about my parents finding out that I had wagged school and that I would be in a lot of trouble for wagging school.

This I know now is a lie from the devil because when I finally told my parents I was in my 40’s and they were horrified to think that their Daughter was raped but also that I thought I couldn’t come to them with this. I hadn’t even told my husband until the same time I told my parent’s. My husband wasn’t surprised that I had been raped. He said he had always suspected something like that had happened.

When I went back to school in the new term the photos were circulating all around the school. When I confronted the boys about it they just laughed.

Apparently the reason they did it was to help this boy out because he was gay and he wanted to get into the navy and back then gay guys were not accepted into the armed forces, so they devised this plan between themselves for him to be clear of this stigma of being gay. I just shake my head at the way they were thinking, it was just ridiculous.

So for many years I held my head in shame, until recent years after learning about the love of Abba Father and His grace and that Jesus died to take all this shame from me and from you.

I am not saying that I am totally free from all the life time of shame and that there are still areas in my life that I am still realizing I have placed behind the veil that I have tried to hide and bury. But as Abba Father gently reveals to me what I have still kept hidden, I can know bring out of my veil completely into His love with no judgment, condemnation, shame and fear. Because I know that I am loved and I know that with the veil torn down His loving light reveals what needs to be healed.